How to love yourself

The most important relationship you will ever have in this life is the one you have with yourself.

I have been working on liking myself and find I now am giving off a “sexy” vibe because I love the skin I’m in! And as usual – anything you give out comes back ten fold. So if you FEEL attractive people will make you feel even more attractive!

In the past boyfriends have said the following to me:

Stop putting on weight.

“Or what? You’ll leave me? Be my guest!” are my thoughts now! If you don’t like me for who I am, not how much I weigh then you are not worthy of my time, and certainly not worthy of my love. The next boyfriend be warned – if you say this you can consider yourself dumped. With immediate effect. And besides, some people look better with a bit of meat on their bones….

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You shouldn’t wear that colour, it doesn’t look great on you.

Now I say “I know what suits me better than you do, don’t tell me what to do”! I was told that dark colours didn’t go well against my pale skin. Whatever! It didn’t stop this lady so it won’t stop me!!

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You’re so pale!

Yup, so? I don’t want to look like a leathery old handbag thanks. I’ll stick with the English rose look! I actually like the colour of my skin and I don’t care that I don’t tan. I don’t even try any more! What do YOU think? Should I lie in the sun a bit more??

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Your bums got bigger.

Sometimes bigger is most certainly more beautiful. Embrace it! I love my bum!! Its uber round, uber perky and if you don’t like it then don’t bother checking it out while I walk away….

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You’re paranoid.

Give me a reason to trust you and I won’t be. I have discovered that each and every time I have been told this their actions have justified my paranoia. Paranoia is not paranoia if the person does what you’re paranoid they’re going to do!!

Every day I now do the following:

Stand at the mirror and say what I like about myself.

Look at myself naked. Yes I did just write that. Embrace yourself and all of your body in its rawest form. Every curve, every wrinkle, every bit of cellulite, every spot, every blemish, every wobble, every scar and every inch of your skin is YOU. Be proud of it. Worship it. See the beauty in it. If you find it too difficult to embrace all of yourself then chose one part of your body at a time. I started with my boobs, progressed to my bum and gradually other parts of my body have had my praise and love.

If I start to feel like someone might be saying something about me behind my back or someone doesn’t like me I stop myself from thinking about this and say to myself “What people think about me is none of my business.” You can’t please everyone all the time and if I’ve been a good person then I don’t have anything to worry about! Their thoughts are theirs to deal with.

I remember that people who criticise are more than likely conscious of these problems in themselves. They’re not actually criticising me, they’re criticising themselves. Their problems are their problems, not mine!

You never know, one day you might feel proud enough of yourself to do this:

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This photo represents my new found love for my body, my respect for myself and my strength. This was taken after a very turbulent time in my life and I look at this photo and feel unbelievably proud of myself for getting through it – a stronger and better person. Plus I helped raise money for a very worthy cause – http://www.sueryder.org

Love the skin you’re in and someone else will love it even more. You can’t expect to be loved if you don’t even like yourself!

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